He\’s Sober Now What? A Spouse\’s Guide to Alcoholism Recovery

1 in 13 people who enter a therapy office or clinic are addicted, yet marijuana addiction only 10% receive treatment. We also know that addiction brings with it a divorce rate four times higher than average and that the first year of recovery is really, really hard for couples. Rehabilitation programs that promote individualized methods may be helpful for those struggling with both alcohol and drug addiction.

In a report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, in 2016 alone, there were more than 30,500 reports to poison control centers about young children exposed to addictive substances. Debt can be a significant point of contention in a marriage when money begins disappearing, especially if the substance of abuse is costly. Substance abuse can affect the addict’s ability to work or even cause job loss, jeopardizing the family’s financial security. Living with someone who has substance use disorder can be difficult, and also create changes in your relationship. Although recovery is positive for the whole family, marijuana addiction it may not be as idyllic as you hope. Although many people recover from SUD every day, recovery is often a long and complex process.

Why Can it Be Hard to Divorce an Alcoholic?

Professional treatment can help you and your partner cope with the negative effects of substance use. A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. Recovery can also sometimes uncover underlying mental health conditions that have contributed to substance use disorder. For example, up to half of people with substance use disorder have also experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

divorce rates after sobriety

Signs Your Spouse May Have An Addiction

As America faces the opioid epidemic, a growing number of marriages suffer under the weight of opioid addictions. Heroin and prescription painkillers are the chief substances responsible for this destruction. “Alcohol and substance use are among the most common reasons given for a divorce—the third most common reason for women and eighth most common for men,” as found by the University at Buffalo.

divorce rates after sobriety

Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics reveals a high incidence of anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems in children of addicted parents. Brooke Mueller’s public battles with addiction and the ensuing custody issues with Charlie Sheen highlight the often-overlooked plight of children caught in such tumultuous environments. The psychological effects of living with an addict can be profound, leading to conditions such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in the non-addicted partner. These emotional wounds often necessitate professional help, although many individuals initially struggle to seek the support they need. In some cases, physiciansprescribe pain medications following surgery or other health issues withoutknowing the individual is in recovery.

Physical Changes

divorce rates after sobriety

I don’t think that is a subset that’s ever been studied scientifically. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment between two individuals who vow to love, support, and stand by each other through thick and thin. However, for couples who have gone through the turmoil of addiction, this sacred bond may become strained or even broken. As someone who has witnessed the struggles of addiction and its impact on marriage, you may be wondering – do marriages last after rehab?

The continuous cycle of relapses, broken promises, and emotional abuse erodes the emotional connection and trust in the relationship. The high-profile marriage of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown was fraught with public battles and emotional upheavals, underscoring the debilitating emotional impact of addiction on marriages. At any stage of life, heavyalcohol or drug use alters the brain. When people stop drinking or using drugs, the brain does not return tonormal. But with treatment and AA, thesepeople learn to manage the resulting symptoms.

How Does Alcohol Affect a Marriage?

  • When my wife was still frustrated, untrusting, and sad in my early sobriety, it made me angry.
  • While it depends on the drug in question, dependence indicates the presence of withdrawal symptoms and doesn’t automatically mean addiction is present.
  • The answers to these questions can help you determine the next steps and necessary arrangements in divorce proceedings.
  • They may become less rigorous about applyingall the coping skills they developed when they first learned how to live asober life.
  • Understanding divorce rates by gender is helpful—especially as this can shed more light on the accuracy of the refined divorce rate.
  • I also let my support system know that I was struggling to stay sober during my divorce.

Deciding to divorce due to addiction can be a complex and emotionally taxing decision that should be taken seriously. Addiction can lead to a cycle of mistrust that creates a volatile environment. If you have tried to reconcile with your partner and help them seek professional help, but they are still unwilling to change, you may have reached your breaking point. If you feel uncomfortable having this conversation alone, you may want to consider staging an intervention with an addiction professional who can offer resources and support.

divorce rates after sobriety

Enabling behaviors are common among spouses and other loved ones of those with addiction, especially within codependent relationships. The term ‘enabling’ can generally be defined as helping or encouraging a person to continue using drugs, either directly or indirectly. If your spouse is actively struggling with substance abuse, your current living environment may not be safe or comfortable for you and your children. Seeking new living arrangements may be a time-sensitive issue. Where you live in the United States may determine whether you have the legal grounds to divorce your spouse based solely on their substance abuse.

  • Here’s a closer look at the impact of divorce on addiction treatment and recovery, along with tips for maintaining your sobriety during this difficult time.
  • To Sheri, my commitment to sobriety was like promising not to pour gasoline on the charred remains of our house after it had already burned to the ground.
  • Be engaged in their treatment, and work on healing the relationship.
  • All questions seemed to be loaded, and even compliments seemed to carry an air of disapproval.
  • If your loved one is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, don’t wait to seek help.

Asher was a huge part of my motive and willingness to work on myself. I had lost that for a while and the result was destroying my marriage, and I knew if things didn’t change, I was going to end up making his life very difficult. Your kids did not choose for you to get married, and they didn’t choose for you to get divorced, protect them in your decisions at all costs. Staying sober through anything life throws at me reinforces the notion that, no matter what happens to me, I don’t have to ever drink or use again.

Your lawyer will explain what to expect during and after the process, including details of your divorce settlement, child custody, division of assets, alimony, etc. The damage inflicted on the marriage from a person’s addiction will often take time and therapy to heal. If a partner undergoes treatment and can live a sober life, those wounds will not simply disappear. Young children face undeniable risks living in a home with an addicted parent.

  • The next chart shows the share of households comprised of a single parent who lives with dependent children.
  • Many who relapse are notconsciously aware of the warning signs of relapse even as they areoccurring.
  • Children with a parent struggling with addiction also experience additional stress and emotional turmoil.

Learn about substance use disorder

By diversifying your support network, you reduce the chance of any single relationship shouldering the entire burden of your recovery. This multipronged approach fosters resilience, ensuring that if one form of support falters, you still have others to lean on. One of the biggest advantages of the post-divorce phase is the opportunity to reimagine your future. Whether you initiated the divorce or not, the end of a marriage often forces a reevaluation of priorities.

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